


Mortal bodies, timeless souls

by Stria (Asia117)



Series: Butterfly Kiss [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Nail Polish, Pride, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, honestly this is just fluff about isak painting his nails for pride, talks of heteronormativity, talks of toxic masculinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9504881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asia117/pseuds/Stria
Summary: It was probably him internalising some dynamics at home, and then some dynamics with his friends. It was Elias being Jonas’ crush and Isak’s despair, while being the perfect archetype of the masculine douchebag.[Or, Isak is in the process of getting rid of toxic masculinity and paints his nails rainbow for pride.]





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [colazitron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/colazitron/gifts).



> Honestly, how could I not give you this, since it's you who inspired it? Thank you for being here for me, thank you for playing headcanon-throwing with me. I love you.

Isak doesn’t really know how it started. He remembers Elias teasing him, and Jonas telling him he only knew gay songs, but he rationally knows it couldn’t start in his first year.

It was probably him internalising some dynamics at home, and then some dynamics with his friends. It was Elias being Jonas’ crush and Isak’s despair, while being the perfect archetype of the masculine douchebag. It was Isak desperately looking for music who wasn’t _gay_ during sleepless nights. But it was also Isak’s dad telling him that of course he could do theatre, but wasn’t it a bit of a girl activity? And Isak’s mum telling him that of course he could take that lipstick, but not on the lips, that’s a girl thing, but you can use it to make your nose look like a clown nose if you want, Isak…

Isak knows that there’s not much use in dwelling about it, either. It happened, it was the result of various factors, for sure, and those factors all pointed to him telling Eskild he was gay, but not _gay_ gay, not like Eskild, not like people who wear mascara and thighs. And if he has to point when the reverse process started, he would point at that moment, that moment when Eskild was the most serious Isak has ever seen.

It was another bit of time before he could be aware of that process, too. He had a moment while he was lying in bed, spooned by Even, and he couldn’t sleep. But even then, the moment was supported by long nights spent talking with Eskild about what masculinity was, and how did he perceive it, and long afternoon spent subsequently reading essays and books Eskild lent him.

So, like. He would like to say everything in his life was a matter of fate and moments, but in reality every little thing lead to another thing which lead to another thing and so on and so forth. And every little word and chat with Eskild, and Even, and even Noora, brought to the moment in the darkness of his room where he opened his eyes and thought _I am not removed from the society, and I don’t have to be so hypermasculine all the time_.

He remembers that he wanted to wake up Even then and there to tell him about that, but he was the one who made Even promise to have a more stable routine, to take better care of himself, and he couldn’t disrupt that all of a sudden. He had to wait till the morning after, and when he told Even, he received a sleepy _I’ve always known you’re the best, baby_ , and small kisses in his mouth area, because when Even wakes up he's apparently incapable of mustering the strength required to kiss him properly.

(Isak answered the kisses with more peppered kisses all along Even’s lips, and laughed when Even finally opened his eyes and crinkled his nose feigning annoyance. He wasn’t very good at pretending these things with Isak.)

And from that moment onwards, Isak made a conscious effort to let the toxic side of his life go, and live without putting things in _boys_ and _girls_ boxes, but to see what he liked most, and do it without thinking. It hadn’t been easy, but he’s sure he would never have done what he’s doing now, if not for the process he started.

“Are you really sure you want to start with these? We can totally do, like, clear coat or something like that,” Even tells him, in that way he has of telling him things, where he’s not exactly concerned, but he’s serious enough that Isak knows he can backtrack whenever he wants. It happened for their first time, it happened for when Isak said he wanted to try being blindfolded. It makes him feel safe, and it makes him smile.

“They wouldn’t stand out though, wouldn’t they?” He smirks and waves his hand at even. “Do your best, please.”

Even smiles, and starts filing Isak’s nails slow and methodically. Eva asked if she and Noora should do it instead, because they had obviously more experience, but Even was unmovable on that. Even if he didn’t have that much experience, he wanted to do that. For Isak, but that was an untold something that Eva and Noora probably didn’t know, but that Isak could hear clear as day.

And it was beautiful, wasn’t it? The ways he could take care of Even, and Even could take care of him. He didn’t believe in all that _Pretty Woman_ bullshit, but he did see that they could do things for each other every day.

“Last chance to backtrack, baby.” Even raises his eyebrows and looks at Isak expectantly.

 Isak snorts. “Nope, not backtracking at all.” He feels a bit anxious, but when Even starts putting the burgundy nail polish on his pinky he smiles, and can’t wait for the job to be finished.

Evan is hyperfocused, extremely precise and methodical, making up for his lack of experience with his extreme care for details. He finishes up the burgundy and starts on the scarlet red, then on the dark orange, then on the yellow, then on the clear green, and soon one hand is finished and Isak waves it in the air to let it dry. “Looks amazing, baby,” he says, and sees Even smiling a bit.

“I want your hands to look perfect.”

Isak smiles and admires his hand. “I’m sure they will.”

He feels a bit strange, different. His hand has a totally different perspective, and he doesn’t know exactly what to make of it. He does like though, it makes him feel a bit like Troye Sivan, and he started to like Troye Sivan a lot.

In addition, going to the pride parade with rainbow nails will be amazing, he’s sure.

When Even’s finished, he raises his head and looks intensely at Isak. “How are you feeling?”

“Giddy, I think,” Isak says, and Even laughs. “Can I have a kiss?”

Even takes Isak’s head between his hands, and brushes his nose on Isak’s. “I’m sure you’ll look amazing marching.”

Isak presses a smile on Even’s lips, and then kisses him properly, his hands far away from everything, but his body pressing up to Even’s. “And that will be thanks to you.”

Even detaches himself and smiles a bit bashfully, shakes his head. “Nah, that will be thanks to you.”

Isak puts his hands on the table, and watches his nails. “Let’s agree to disagree.”

Even just plants a smile behind his ear, and a shiver surges up his body. It’s an important day, for both of them. It’s far from being their first pride together, but they still make a point of celebrating as best as they can, because Isak never forgot what Eskild said to him about people fighting to be able to live as themselves, and he knows Even feels really connected to the queer community. It’s a beautiful time of the year, for both of them, and he will always be grateful that they can experience it together, and with their friends.

And the more he looks at his nails, the more he likes them. He wasn’t sure at the beginning, and he doesn’t know if he will have the courage of keeping them painted after the parade, but what counts is that he started doing it, that he freed himself from another piece or toxic masculinity he really didn’t need. He likes colours, and he likes his nails full of colours, and he’s sure he can make small steps towards wearing bolder colours, and towards wearing mascara and lipstick like Eskild does without a care in the world.

The doorbell rings, and Even goes at the door. Isak hears talking, and then Even’s face pops out from the doorframe. “The others have arrived baby. Let’s go.”

Isak smiles and adjusts his hoodie. It sayd _yes, your gaydar is working_. It’s a mocking present Even gave him after he did drunk shopping on amazon, and it’s a bit big on him, but Isak couldn’t love it more. It’s exactly his style, and he wears it so much it’s getting all soft and work out, but he doesn’t care. He looks up at Even.

Let’s go.

**Author's Note:**

> If someone wants a visual reference for Isak's nails, I imagined something like [this](http://data.whicdn.com/images/67387104/large.jpg).
> 
> Also, if you liked this, come talk to me on [tumblr](http://cosenoditea.tumblr.com)! Or, alternatively, consider reblogging the fic post [here](http://cosenoditea.tumblr.com/post/156550083036/mortal-bodies-timeless-souls-by-stria-on-ao3-it).


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